Historiaphile

As I've watched Star Wars over the years, there has been a consistent feeling like something was.... wrong. No it's not the good vs evil overarching story, nor is it the fact that it makes absolutely no sense for Qui-Gon Jinn to die from a single stab wound while Darth Maul survives being split in half and falling down the same chasm as Qui-Gon; and while I am equally baffled by the fact that they essentially just copied the death of Qui-Gon for Han's death (I mean seriously, it's a light saber, it'd hurt like hell and probably cause some serious issues in the future, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have time... the wound is cauterized right? Right?), there is something even more strange that the Jedi themselves seem to be confusingly stupid about: self control. In almost every movie I feel like they talk about bringing some kind of balance to the force. The more I think about it the less it makes any sense. What balance? The balance between the light a...

Disclaimer: In the course of this post you'll learn a lot about me, a lot of which I'd prefer to keep to myself, but I know someone somewhere is dealing with the same thing I am, and just knowing you're not alone helps. Maybe you can learn from my experiences or feelings, but more than anything I hope we all learn from my husband, because while he may be an imperfect human being like everyone else, he is my perfect; and sometimes we need a little bit of someone else's perfect.  Now that you know the story of us, I can explain fully exactly why my husband is perfect for me. It's more than just "we found each other at the right time in the right place," it's everything about how we met, how we fell apart, how we came back together, and, now, how we live every day knowing there is no one else we would ever want to be with but each other. I don't doubt his love for me, or his dedication to me, nor does he doubt my love for or dedication to him. I w...

When I look back at the time that Bill and I had to get to know each other again, for real this time, I always remembering it feeling like an eternity. From our first re-date to our first alone date, it felt like ages, when in reality it was less than two weeks. My favourite part about the entire thing was that we hadn't told Ethan, so on the day we had next planned to meet (Feb 14th, of course) we talked about how fun it would be to have Ethan come over and find out. By that time Bill and I had talked about a plethora of things (primarily because I sent him a MILLION questions) and there was no doubt in my mind I wanted to be with him. Thus my fears of backpacking off of my family's feelings were abated and I trusted my feelings were my own. In the end I convinced Ethan to come over in my most clever way ever... via text...  Tia: Have any fun plans for Valentine's day?  Ethan: Not really Tia: Well hopefully you get to do something fun :) Ethan: Yeah! What about yo...

I know, I know, you are immediately asking yourself, "Come on, seriously? Self, we already know Bill is perfect, so what does she mean he's perfect for her?" Great question! I will explain. A story like this deserves the cliche fairy tale beginning: Once upon a time ...... a little girl dreamt of the love of her life. Literally. Over the years he changed in looks, profession, personality, and even nationality. I think my favourite ridiculous iteration of my "dream man" was a tall, British accented, Asian Batman, minus the vigilante-ness. It was quite absurd, but hey, it was a dream during a time when being rich, spending all our time with my family, listening to what was, at the time, my favourite accent all the time and never ever working, ever, sounded like the greatest thing one could ask for.  Of course this Batman person would love cats, be a great driver, and have a great sense of fashion for absolutely no reason whatsoever. In reality, it was clear f...

As a fifteen year old I believed I knew what it felt like, insisted it's what I was experiencing and dealing with. What I didn't understand was that depression was so much more than just being sad. It was more than just wanting a different life and different outcome, more than even the unintentional selfishness that often accompanied the emotions I was feeling. But I believed it to be those things. My life completely changed when I decided to go on a mission. Though I didn't know it, and wouldn't know it for at least 6 more years, my life was finally falling into place. Many things happened when I made that decision. Some of those things include: Meeting the love of my life (another story for another day) Learning that forgiving myself was as important as the hope of forgiveness Learning the joy of quitting my job, for good Learning to give up some comforts for the sake of a greater good Learning to trust in God more than I ever had before  While the expe...